My Presidential Platform: About the Football
Please allow me to address your natural concerns about my being in control of a vast arsenal of nuclear weapons.
Read MoreMy Presidential Platform: The Second Amendment and Guns
Here is what we are going to do about guns. Superman is going to help.
Read MoreMy Presidential Platform: Ethics, Baseball, and the Elimination of the Senate
The United States Senate will no longer be concerned with the use of steroids in professional sports. In fact, the United States Senate will no longer be concerned with anything, because it will be abolished as per the advice of Harper’s magazine. Click to read more.
Read MoreMy Presidential Platform: Security Detail
An even better option than the Secret Service: Jewish parents.
Read MoreMy Presidential Platform: Sweden and Social Services
Social services: they’re not just for tall, blond people in
countries with bad food and worse weather.
My Presidential Platform: Balancing the Budget (and Resolving Some Daddy Issues)
Daddy issues are part of any presidency.
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My Presidential Platform: Abortion
A sane, collaborative resolution to the abortion “debate.”
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