{superlefty}

My Presidential Platform: About the Bullet

No one needs to “take a bullet” for me.

Read More

My Presidential Platform: About the Football

Please allow me to address your natural concerns about my being in control of a vast arsenal of nuclear weapons.

Read More

My Presidential Platform: The Second Amendment and Guns

Here is what we are going to do about guns. Superman is going to help.

Read More

My Presidential Platform: Ethics, Baseball, and the Elimination of the Senate

The United States Senate will no longer be concerned with the use of steroids in professional sports. In fact, the United States Senate will no longer be concerned with anything, because it will be abolished as per the advice of Harper’s magazine. Click to read more.

Read More

My Presidential Platform: Security Detail

An even better option than the Secret Service: Jewish parents.

Read More

My Presidential Platform: Sweden and Social Services

Social services: they’re not just for tall, blond people in
countries with bad food and worse weather.

Read More

My Presidential Platform: Balancing the Budget (and Resolving Some Daddy Issues)

Daddy issues are part of any presidency.

Read More

My Presidential Platform: Religion

Mazel tov to The Chief!

Read More

My Presidential Platform: Abortion

A sane, collaborative resolution to the abortion “debate.”

Read More

My Presidential Platform: Middle East Policy

Oy vey, this mishegas is such a shonda.

Read More