If you are feeling down…
Go drinking all night with some Scots (and Brits and Irish) who are perfectly willing to hear you pontificate on the politics of your fucked-up country in a midtown diner in the pre-dawn hours. Make sure one of these Scots is an old, dear friend you haven’t seen in years. Your faith in everything will […]
Read MoreNO TEAM HAS EVER
In the back room of the bar in New Jersey last night, a hoarse-voiced man was singing about the impossibility of love and the inevitability of pain, the kind of pain that does justice to metaphors about the bottom of the ocean and the blackness of the night. In the front of the bar, on […]
Read MorePrivacy
There is a lot of interesting flap about Kerry’s remark in Wednesday’s debate regarding the fact that the Moron Puppeteer of Evil’s daughter is a lesbian. Like most flap, it illustrates our confused zeitgeist on the matter. Is Lynne Cheney ashamed that her daughter is gay? Is Mary Cheney insane or does she just like […]
Read MoreObserving
And now let us pause, briefly, and remember a time before Homeland Security, a time before this was the homeland, before this land was the center of our empire, a stronghold from which our empire could invade other countries, kill the people there and get away with it by calling them “savage,” or some new, […]
Read MoreIgnorance is Bliss
It’s Friday night and I’ve declined socialization to wash my hair and tend small fires in my house. Very small fires–the one under the coffeepot, the one in the incense holder, and the one that rests in the ashtray. Smoke is curling pleasantly around the room and I’m ignoring my just-washed hair in the hopes […]
Read MoreComing Soon…A Brief, Passionate Word About Movie Previews
I love movie previews. I love the green screen with the words: The Following Preview Has Been Approved for All Audiences by the Motion Picture Association of America. I love the very rare red screen that denotes that the preview itself has been rated “R.” What does that mean? Do these previews have bare butts […]
Read MoreJay Leno, The Man Who Defamed Me
Earlier this week, when I read on the covers of other subway riders’ copies of the Daily News and New York Post (having sworn off all news media until after the election as a precautionary measure against apoplexy) that Jay Leno will hand over the reins of The Tonight Show to Conan O’Brien in 2009, […]
Read MoreLosing All Focus
In my continuing quest for cheap thrills and deeper insight into the theory of knowledge and the nature of consciousness, I have subjected my body and being to a variety of dangers. I have sustained abrasions and contusions major and minor. I have killed many brain cells. I have travelled to distant lands and walked […]
Read More25 Things I Learned By the Age of 25
1. There is no inherent merit in any kind of labor or work. Most of what we call “work” in the so-called developed world is bullshit designed to distract you from fun and the harsh material reality of globalized capitalism. Feed yourself and and have a good time because soon you’ll be dead and this […]
Read MoreHangover
It’s been a while since I had a good old-fashioned hangover. I can’t say I’ve really been missing them. I think I jinxed myself a while ago, because I actually said out loud, “You know, I haven’t drank myself sick and had a vile hangover in quite some time! Maybe I’ve finally learned moderation!” Then […]
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