A Weekend Like Many Other Weekends
In the midst of this weekend, I bring you the story of last weekend. It was one of those weekends that started Thursday and lasted until Monday. First, the ukulele concert I had been looking forward to attending was cancelled due to extreme illness on the part of the ukulelist. “Dammit,” I said to myself, […]
Read MoreI don’t understand
I don’t understand how HTML works. I don’t understand how the operating system of my computer works. I don’t understand why the archives on this blog do not work. I don’t understand how a bill becomes a law. I don’t understand what people of the opposite sex think, do, say or feel and why they […]
Read MoreSouvenirs
I saw a photograph on the front page of the New York Times last year that chilled me. In the middleground of the shot, Iraqi children, some of them wearing baseball caps emblazoned with the names of American football teams, smiled shyly for the camera while they jostled each other for places in a short […]
Read MoreMy Body, My Choice
Washington, D.C. is not my favorite place. Since the government buildings and monuments are visible from all over the city, I spend my time there in a kind of continual rage brought on by the way these monuments smugly celebrate the pack of lies that passes for American history. There’s something about the streets of […]
Read MoreOhhhhmmmmm
Today yoga was taught to me by an increasingly pregnant woman. Last week she sat on me, but this week she did not. I was disappointed. There is something cosmic about a pregnant woman sitting on you while you do yoga. She has a very soothing, quintessentially yoga-teacher voice. My one complaint would be that […]
Read MoreSpringtime for Hipsters
We met at the Northeast corner of Central Park. Each of us had a sandwich. We found a patch of grass between some big rocks, high up enough to see the pond. We ate our sandwiches. We smoked the joint. We watched some robins. H. pointed out that the robin is the state bird of […]
Read MoreEuphemism
To pay my rent, I cash in on my high school nerdiness by tutoring algebra, the SATs and the like to the precocious youth of New York City. The vocabulary-building and infinite patience costs their parents money; the propoganda they get for free. Last week: Me: “Okay, so this week we’re going to do words […]
Read MoreFound Religion
Having spent the entire month of February abstaining from all vices except chocolate, I now find myself at home on Saturday night reading the Bible. But Exodus was like a movie I’d seen one too many times (and that movie is called The Ten Commandments), and I soon abandoned the Old Testament for the internet, […]
Read MoreSuburbia
Going to suburbia, especially if one escaped suburbia, especially if one felt stifled in suburbia, if one drove aimlessly from one end of town to the other in the middle of the night trying to work up the nerve to drive out of the town, off the long island where it was located, and far, […]
Read MoreLove and White Slaveowning Men
My favorite holiday of this weekend is already over. That would be Friday the 13th. On Friday the 13th, the unlucky day, you can feel lucky if nothing goes wrong. I got up, I made a sandiwch, I dressed, i did some work-related errands, I had a hot chocolate, I went to an art opening, […]
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