La Dolce Vita Leads to Hypothetical Violence
Seeing a movie in New York City is almost more trouble than it’s worth. It costs nearly $11. You have to get tickets hours, if not days in advance. You have to get to the theater at least forty minutes early so you don’t end up sitting way in the back of way in the […]
Read MoreQuestion #4
Let me get this straight: The Rosenbergs were traitors, becuase they sold secrets to the Russians, America’s then-enemy. But Halliburton is doing business with Iran, America’s current enemy, and they are “[compliant] with applicable laws and regulations” because they’re doing it from the legal loophole of a tax shelter? Someone please explain this to me.
Read MoreWork Is Over
A little over a year ago, my employers at my nearly-full time incredibly cushy freelance job informed me that they had no more money with which to pay me for my services. I panicked, and then decided to see if I could be my own boss while exploiting the fact that I was incredibly nerdy […]
Read More"A Matter of Measurements"
I was re-reading A Moveable Feast, wondering why I don’t live in Paris, and why I have to use so many words in all my sentences, when I came to my favorite part, the part where Hemingway recounts how F. Scott Fitzgerald had some issues about his…size. In the male sense of the word. Zelda […]
Read MoreYour Enemies’ Enemies
The Siren Fest was an experience. I can only describe it as Friendster Come Alive. Or perhaps: The High Points of Hipsterism: A Fashion Retrospective. Or: An Opportunity To Get A Sunburn and Wait Half an Hour to Go to the Bathroom (but that’s really any music festival, isn’t it?). Or: My T-Shirt Is More […]
Read MoreLarge, Aged Lady Shoots Down Proselytizing Teens
The Mormons were out in full force the other day, trying to convert my gentrifying Italian neighborhood to their weird Jesus cult. I saw them going to work on this large, aged lady who sits outside her house most nice days with an even more aged lady I assume is her mother. The Mormons were […]
Read MoreA Trifecta of Trifectas for the Last Quarter-Year of My First Quarter-Century
On the Autumnal Equinox (which falls this year on September 22) there are exactly twelve hours of daylight and twelve hours of darkness everywhere on Earth. It is in this perfect balance of daylight and darkness that I except to experience a full-on existential crisis, otherwise known as my 25th birthday. On June 22 (the […]
Read MoreRonald FUCK-ing Reagan: My Very First Enemy
It’s been a very eventful month. Ronald Reagan died for about half of it. Then Dick Cheney carried on his memory nicely this week by telling a Democratic Senator who questioned the fact that Cheney destroyed Iraq just so Halliburton could rebuild it to “go fuck [him]self” on the Senate floor. Committing horrible crimes that […]
Read MoreIt’s Not HBO, It’s Our Neighborhood
We are slowly working our way through the current season of The Sopranos, about three weeks behind, courtesy of tapes graciously recorded by my father’s golf partner in Long Island and handed off to me in monthly visits with my parents. (“You don’t have ‘On Demand?’” scoffed one of the kids I tutor, upon finding […]
Read MoreSuperLefty Zooms Into the Late 1990’s
Hey! Look! The archives work! There aren’t that many, because Mecury was in retrograde for the last year-and-some and I was a lazy and neurotic loser, prone to starting posts, then drifting away from the computer for hours or days at a time, only to return and say, “Who wrote this? What is this angry […]
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