{superlefty}

Customer Service

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In which an order placed with an online outdoor retailer engenders an unexpected correspondence and promising new friendship!

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The N00b Chronicles

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New column in Climbing magazine.

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I Got A Rash

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Panic, self-diagnosis, resolution.

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My Presidential Platform: Craggin’ Wagon One

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This new mode of presidential transport will save American taxpayers as much as $1,438.564.00.

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My Presidential Platform: About the Bullet

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No one needs to “take a bullet” for me.

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My Presidential Platform: About the Football

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Please allow me to address your natural concerns about my being in control of a vast arsenal of nuclear weapons.

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My Presidential Platform: The Second Amendment and Guns

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Here is what we are going to do about guns. Superman is going to help.

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My Presidential Platform: Ethics, Baseball, and the Elimination of the Senate

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The United States Senate will no longer be concerned with the use of steroids in professional sports. In fact, the United States Senate will no longer be concerned with anything, because it will be abolished as per the advice of Harper’s magazine. Click to read more.

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My Presidential Platform: Security Detail

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An even better option than the Secret Service: Jewish parents.

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