On the Proper Placement of the Gideon Bible in the Home
The Bible guys were all over the neighborhood the other day, practically on every corner. “Would you like a Bible? Would you like a free Bible?”Unlike many yoga practitioners, I do not believe that your average street-corner proselytizer “might be the next Messiah.” After all the wars and priestly buggery of children I’m deeply wary of anyone who claims to act in the name of God.
Read MoreBicoastal
New York is buildings and money, food and drink, glances and remarks. It is streets, not roads. It is filth, not dirt. It is noise, not sounds. It is highways, not freeways, five-hour drives of one hundred miles in stop-and-go traffic instead of five-hour drives of four hundred miles doing 80. It is rats, not […]
Read MoreYou Gotta Believe
The You Gotta Believe post from 2007 was published today on Mr. Beller’s Neighborhood.
Read MorePeonies
Just before 2 a.m. I had a sudden craving for peonies so I went out to the very expensive deli in pursuit of them. There were no peonies, however, only a team of Latin American laborers restocking the juice and milk display. It was too beautiful an almost-summer night for anyone to be shopping. Everyone […]
Read MoreUnder My Own Power
In an effort to reduce paper waste and maximize efficiency I signed up for paperless billing on all my bills. Then I created a separate email account for all the bill-paying reminders to go to, so my regular email account would not be tainted with such unpleasantness as bill-paying. I also use this account for […]
Read MoreThis Being the MySpace Page of Marcus Junius Brutus
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. -Ecclesiastes 1:9 Brutus bought it last night. When it sunk in that he’d been defeated at Philippi by the combined forces of Mark Antony and Octavian Caesar he grabbed a sword and marched down […]
Read MoreWho Is the Real Whore?
It continually surprises me that it continually surprises anyone that politicians screw whores. Or, for that matter, that they screw interns, movie stars, other men’s wives, their secretaries, their daughters’ friends, the women they meet at parties or the men they meet in public restrooms. They always have. They always will. Surely the jaded American […]
Read MoreWilliamsburg is Over
The L train is doing that thing where it glides very slowly and silently under the river in slow-motion. There is no noise coming from the tracks; at this speed the wheels don’t clatter and the machinery doesn’t rattle. There’s just that low whine as the weird stuff on the walls of the tunnels slips […]
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