Peculiar
I am feeling most peculiar. My skin feels very sensitive, as if it is sunburned. It’s tender and feels rough from the inside, though from the oustide, to the touch, it feels quite normal. Also, it moves uneasily against my muscles, and my muscles, in turn, move uneasily along the bones. Perhaps it’s just dry. […]
Read MoreDO NOT REFRIGERATE
As I hurried to make the Metro-North train, a well-dressed older gentleman stopped me outside the secret entrance to the Oyster Bar. (I know this because I use the bathrooms in the Oyster Bar when the public ones in Grand Central Station are too crowded, and I use the secret entrance which leads directly to […]
Read MoreHABACHOOM!
People who sneeze or cough profusely on crowded subway cars earn a germaphobic glare from me–unless they are me. Due to the Microscopic Enemy, now in fast retreat, I have been hacking and sneezing my way through the week’s commutes. Yesterday, some kind of delay on the L train had piled up commuters four deep […]
Read MoreI Blame the Moron Puppet
I have heard some disturbing things. I have heard that the unelected leader of the nation I refuse to recognize laid out a terrifyingly imperialist plan at his $40 million pageant celebrating his second non-election to the position of Moron Puppet-Emperor of Evil. (The FUCK YOU movement sends its deepest regrets for being unable to […]
Read MoreLions and Leopards and Nazis, Oh My!
Since the media outside this country is far more likely to accurately report on what’s going on in it than our own news media, I frequently turn to foreign newspapers to stay informed. While studying abroad in England during college, I was amazed to find out that England has a broadsheet that willingly identifies itself […]
Read MoreI could say
I could say something about the tsunami. I could say something about American imperialism. I could say something about Susan Sontag (apparently she was very illuminating and is about to become posthomusly famous to me, among many others). I could say something about the first season of M*A*S*H, which I am in the process of […]
Read MoreGood Morning, 2005
If the rest of 2005 is anything like the first 24 hours of it have been, then I can say that it’s going to be a very good year. It began with a very great party. It was the kind of party where everyone talks for so long about so many interesting things that the […]
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