Over the next few days I will bring you: Reasons Why We Lost This Election, Reasons Why It Was Fucked to Begin With, Reasons Why the Democrats Don’t Exist, Reasons Why the Republicans Don’t Exist, Reasons Why America as a Nation or Concept Has Never Been So Great and In Fact Has Been Primed for This Very Sort of Theocratic Takeover Since the Puritans Came Here to Found Their Own Original Theocracy and Killed the Native Americans in the Holiday We WIll Soon Celebrate, Reasons Why There Is No Fixed Meaning in the Political Landscape and It Is All An Enormous and Terrible Game in Which We Are Not Even Mere Pawns, Reasons Why The Only Answer is Immediate Global Anti-Capitalist Anti-Fundamentalist Revolution, Reasons Why George W. Bush is a Fascist and This Is Not A Missapplication of This Term, Reasons Why I am Expatriating and You Should, Too, Reasons Why I Think People Do Dumbfuck Things Like Vote for the Moron Puppet, Reasons Why We Should All Spend the Next Four Years Stoned Out of Our Minds (If We Weren’t Going to Anyway), Reasons Why We Should Go Lie Down in Traffic and Reasons Why We Should Go Drink Cappucino (a choice that SuperLefty top advisor Chloe Godwin often poses to herself in times of national crisis) Reasons Why I Will Not Be Heeding My Yoga Teachers and Dedicating My Practices To The Moron Puppet or Dick Cheney, No Matter How Bereft of Good Energy, Peace and Truth They May Be, and Reasons Why None of This Matters Because We Are All Our Own Self-Contained Nations of One Where We are Sovereign Kings and Queens Who Reign Supreme, Reasons Why We Are All Going to Die, and until then, Reasons Why We Are All Going to Live.