Talking to Myself and Other Entities of Questionable Reality
Often, when I need a little extra encouragement, I’ll mutter under my breath to myself, or to inanimate objects or entities. When I need to not vomit despite a horrific hangover, I’ll mutter, “Steady, Weinstein.” When I need to not freak out even if things appear to have taken a turn for the worse I’ll […]
Read MoreSometimes You Are the Crazy Person on the Subway
The little girl in the stroller was eating pizza. Her mother was feeding it to her from a white paper bag. The pizza was cold and the cheese had congealed, but the little girl made happy noises with every bite. I was in a foul mood, one nostril inexplicably stuffed up, eyes itching from the […]
Read MoreReading!
They’re closing down that place where we give readings! Doesn’t that suck? It does. Where will we read now? I propose the roof of my apartment building. It’s beautiful up there in the sky, and I have devised a way to transport martinis safely up the stairs. The real estate developers are closing down the […]
Read MoreDings
In a few moments the red timer will ring. It just did. It is exactly 4:00 p.m. The red timer marks off the ten minutes for which I boil my eggs (which leaves the yolk just the tiny bit soft, but not liquid) the three minutes for which I steep my coca tea (which imparts […]
Read MoreSpectacles, Marriage & Civilization
I am getting closer to my glasses, I can feel it. Ever since I was robbed of my spectacles in South America, I’ve been dawdling in replacing them. But lately I’ve been picking up momentum. Every time I see an optician I duck in and try on all the frames. I’ll ask the salespeople to […]
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