Siete de Mayo

Today is a special holiday for those of us in the test preparation industry. Today the May SATs are administered to the youth of America. Today my little darlings attempt to put into effect my new-agey techniques for stress reduction while remembering my militaristic plan for attack for coordinate geometry diagrams. Today, one can only hope, thousands, or at least several little New Yorkers failed to get their goal scores on this exam and will be convinced at some point in the near future that SuperLefty’s mild-mannered alter-ego is the solution to their test-taking problems.

Right now the errant answers in which SuperLefty’s financial future lies are freshly penciled onto nswer sheets which themselves are en route to an evaluation center where SuperLefty’s fall earnings can be quantified and projected along with Jane Student’s current higher education options. Come on, Joe and Jane Students of the Greater New York Area! Let’s see some scores that need improvement, scores that will send your monied and neuortic parents into paroxysms of fear! Fear that if you do not learn the word “paroxysm” you will! Never! Attend! Princeton! The cost of living is going up and SuperLefty quite literally needs a new pair of shoes. SuperLefty has also discovered that wine that costs $20 a bottle tastes significantly better than wine that costs $10, and SuperLefty’s delicate and evolving palate does not want to go back.