{superlefty}

The Art of Dental Burlesque

In two weeks, Holly and I are taking our fishing trip to Nicaragua. This trip is guided by three simple questions: Why fishing? Why Nicaragua? Why not? In preparation for this trip, I must see a number of health professionals. It is as if my body is a vehicle and I have to have it […]

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The Past Week or So

SAT scores are in, and not everyone is happy. Graduates graduate, look bewildered, stride down steep hills, gowns flapping open, talking on their cell phones about “the private sector.” The weather, for some reason, is reluctant to please us. Some Geminis spend their birthdays in yoga class, others tripping mushrooms. Both experiences yield the revelation […]

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The Bukowski Diet

When trying to decide what to eat, eat what you believe Charles Bukowski would have been most likely to eat. Eat kielbasa on rye with mustard. Wash it down with beer. Eat eggs scrambled with fried, nearly burnt onions and salami. Wash it down with gin. For snack, eat the rest of the kielbasa, handed […]

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Yuppies Next Door

I know I have no right to complain. I know this neighborhood is gentrifying, and I am part of the problem, not part of the solution. I know that no matter where I move to get away from yuppies and hipsters, I will never be able to escape them, because I will be there. To […]

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Absinthe and Ecstasy, Hummus and Hemingway

Sometimes it seems as if I am the only person I know who is neither in grad school nor a rock and roll band, who has never been to grad school nor in a rock and roll band. Even my mom is in grad school. Even the ten-year-old I tutor is in a rock and […]

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Siete de Mayo

Today is a special holiday for those of us in the test preparation industry. Today the May SATs are administered to the youth of America. Today my little darlings attempt to put into effect my new-agey techniques for stress reduction while remembering my militaristic plan for attack for coordinate geometry diagrams. Today, one can only […]

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Has SuperLefty Hung Up Her Cape?

SuperLefty has been very quiet lately. Has she been bested by some right-handed nemesis? Finally found that fatal combination of illegal substances and dangerous kitchen equipment? Has she, as some of you have asked, hung up her cape? Does SuperLefty even have a cape? Is SuperLefty a even real superhero? Is the Pope a former […]

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I Wish I Could See

I wish I could see without little plastic circles floating on my pupils. I wish I could see the clock radio. I wish I could see the book I’m reading in bed. I wish I could see the person I’m in bed with. I wish I could see the door, the bathroom mirror, the light […]

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Signs

It is almost spring. I know this because I can smell the rivers that border New York, fishy and briny and coming alive again. Also because an intensely bright light falls across my bed between the hours of eight and nine in the morning. I think my first floor window is aligned with the sun […]

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Rubber Ducky, You’re the One…

I take it all back. The commie sex fiend liberals are ruining this country. If a person fondly remembers her childhood bathtimes, if a person feels a special connection in particular to the Sesame Street character of Ernie, if a person still sings all the time the entirety of the song, “Rubber Ducky, You’re the […]

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