{superlefty}

Visualizer

Maybe you had a hard day, a working Saturday. Maybe you read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas on a very long subway ride, almost the whole thing in one shot, like your own drug-fueled road trip on the Q train, complete with hallucintory attorney. Maybe when you came to you were a neighborhood in […]

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Dollar Store

I just got back from a shopping spree at the dollar store. These are really the only shopping sprees anyone should go on. At a dollar per item, you can’t carry enough home to signifcantly deplete your funds. Today’s dollar store shopping list included: Three (3) martini glasses, unaesthetically imprinted with the excessively punctuated phrase […]

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Peculiar

I am feeling most peculiar. My skin feels very sensitive, as if it is sunburned. It’s tender and feels rough from the inside, though from the oustide, to the touch, it feels quite normal. Also, it moves uneasily against my muscles, and my muscles, in turn, move uneasily along the bones. Perhaps it’s just dry. […]

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DO NOT REFRIGERATE

As I hurried to make the Metro-North train, a well-dressed older gentleman stopped me outside the secret entrance to the Oyster Bar. (I know this because I use the bathrooms in the Oyster Bar when the public ones in Grand Central Station are too crowded, and I use the secret entrance which leads directly to […]

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HABACHOOM!

People who sneeze or cough profusely on crowded subway cars earn a germaphobic glare from me–unless they are me. Due to the Microscopic Enemy, now in fast retreat, I have been hacking and sneezing my way through the week’s commutes. Yesterday, some kind of delay on the L train had piled up commuters four deep […]

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I Blame the Moron Puppet

I have heard some disturbing things. I have heard that the unelected leader of the nation I refuse to recognize laid out a terrifyingly imperialist plan at his $40 million pageant celebrating his second non-election to the position of Moron Puppet-Emperor of Evil. (The FUCK YOU movement sends its deepest regrets for being unable to […]

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Lions and Leopards and Nazis, Oh My!

Since the media outside this country is far more likely to accurately report on what’s going on in it than our own news media, I frequently turn to foreign newspapers to stay informed. While studying abroad in England during college, I was amazed to find out that England has a broadsheet that willingly identifies itself […]

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I could say

I could say something about the tsunami. I could say something about American imperialism. I could say something about Susan Sontag (apparently she was very illuminating and is about to become posthomusly famous to me, among many others). I could say something about the first season of M*A*S*H, which I am in the process of […]

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Good Morning, 2005

If the rest of 2005 is anything like the first 24 hours of it have been, then I can say that it’s going to be a very good year. It began with a very great party. It was the kind of party where everyone talks for so long about so many interesting things that the […]

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Heavily Suburban Interfaith Christmas Experience, Days 2 & 3

Christmas passed rather smoothly. Though all my blood relatives are Jewish, some of my relatives by marriage are not, and so we celebrate Christmas. Besides Christmas, another thing non-Jewish people have thankfully brought into my family is drinking. Christmas begins with a champagne toast and shrimp cocktail hors d’ouvres and continues through a lovely lasagna […]

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