{superlefty}

The Bukowski Diet

When trying to decide what to eat, eat what you believe Charles Bukowski would have been most likely to eat. Eat kielbasa on rye with mustard. Wash it down with beer. Eat eggs scrambled with fried, nearly burnt onions and salami. Wash it down with gin. For snack, eat the rest of the kielbasa, handed […]

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Yuppies Next Door

I know I have no right to complain. I know this neighborhood is gentrifying, and I am part of the problem, not part of the solution. I know that no matter where I move to get away from yuppies and hipsters, I will never be able to escape them, because I will be there. To […]

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Absinthe and Ecstasy, Hummus and Hemingway

Sometimes it seems as if I am the only person I know who is neither in grad school nor a rock and roll band, who has never been to grad school nor in a rock and roll band. Even my mom is in grad school. Even the ten-year-old I tutor is in a rock and […]

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Siete de Mayo

Today is a special holiday for those of us in the test preparation industry. Today the May SATs are administered to the youth of America. Today my little darlings attempt to put into effect my new-agey techniques for stress reduction while remembering my militaristic plan for attack for coordinate geometry diagrams. Today, one can only […]

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Has SuperLefty Hung Up Her Cape?

SuperLefty has been very quiet lately. Has she been bested by some right-handed nemesis? Finally found that fatal combination of illegal substances and dangerous kitchen equipment? Has she, as some of you have asked, hung up her cape? Does SuperLefty even have a cape? Is SuperLefty a even real superhero? Is the Pope a former […]

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I Wish I Could See

I wish I could see without little plastic circles floating on my pupils. I wish I could see the clock radio. I wish I could see the book I’m reading in bed. I wish I could see the person I’m in bed with. I wish I could see the door, the bathroom mirror, the light […]

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Signs

It is almost spring. I know this because I can smell the rivers that border New York, fishy and briny and coming alive again. Also because an intensely bright light falls across my bed between the hours of eight and nine in the morning. I think my first floor window is aligned with the sun […]

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Rubber Ducky, You’re the One…

I take it all back. The commie sex fiend liberals are ruining this country. If a person fondly remembers her childhood bathtimes, if a person feels a special connection in particular to the Sesame Street character of Ernie, if a person still sings all the time the entirety of the song, “Rubber Ducky, You’re the […]

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Hunter S. Thompson Stole My Plans for Death

No one is ever going to believe me now, but there are a few of you who can corroborate that it is my long-standing wish to have my dead body shot out of a canon. Now that my excellent and carefully crafted funeral plans have been stolen by none other than Hunter S. Thomspon, it […]

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Exactly 1/2 of Thursday

11:00 A.M.: Meet Demba at Mafia-run pastry shop. Normally, I meet him at the library, but on Wednesday, when we usually meet, Demba’s wife was having her day care business inspected by the Department of Health and on Thursdays, the library doesn’t open until 1:00. Snobbishness about cappucino/espresso one of the uncanny similarities I share […]

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