{superlefty}

Travel Advisory

The media loves to report on how porous airport security really is, but I can tell you firsthand that if you take an army regulation ammunition box, slap a skull and crossbones sticker on the side of it and fill this box with wires, batteries and electronic devices, your will get a reaction out of […]

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Research

Blog! said Greg Daly, so I blog. Normally, Greg Daly drives the van, but he’s resting in the backseat and Franz is driving. I’m here in traffic in southern California, drunk, in a van with a six-person rock and roll band. Normally, they’re an eight-person rock and roll band, but some people have to work, […]

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Barney

Naturally, I celebrated the overly mythologied beginning of this vile empire by hiding from a misogynist cockatoo in the hills outside of Portland, Oregon. It wasn’t too hard to hide, since both the cockatoo and I were in the mansion of the Kentucky Fried Chicken scion, and there was plenty of room for both of […]

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Travel Wardrobe Neurosis

So I’ve been busying myself making money and laying plans to entertain you with tales from places not New York this summer. I’ve made so many plans I’m exhausted just trying to pick a flashlight for each of them. How do you pack for a week of camping on the West Coast followed immediately by […]

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Promises, Promises

I promised you neatness, I promised you nausea. I promised you a wedding and a war and a volcano. I promised you Dr. Michael S. Cohen and his magical wall-mounted ear-vaccum. Here are the first two. The others require true love, proper attire, hundreds of thousands of people and their equivalent tonnage in tanks, landing […]

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Neat

I don’t put much stock in astrology. There have got to be more than twelve kinds of people in the world, and I hear the astronomy in those days wasn’t too accurate. But much to my chagrin, one of the cardinal rules of my own sign, Virgo, seems to apply to me and many other […]

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Nausea

(Warning: in this essay I will reveal a plot detail of the novel Indecision. I can’t decide if this is a major or minor plot detail, but I’m leaning towards minor. Ish. If you prefer to consume your media with no prior knowledge of plot, do not read on. Read this instead.) Reading the novel […]

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Tune-Up

Part I It’s time for my annual tune-up, in preparation for my departure to points unknown. Yesterday was north-of-the-neck day. I had my mouth, eyes and ears probed, examined and cleaned. I managed to cram three doctor’s appointments into one muggy day spent tooling around the North Shore of Long Island in my parents borrowed […]

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Alive!

I know, I know. It’s been ages. I won’t bore you with excuses, but rather entice you with the promise of ramblings to come. I went to a wedding. I went to war. I got virally invaded and have been coughing myself a set of six-pack abs. Nutella-and-banana sandwiches are taking care of that condition, […]

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Cinco de Mayo

A morning at the baths and an evening at the ballpark.

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