Rubber Ducky, You’re the One…

I take it all back. The commie sex fiend liberals are ruining this country. If a person fondly remembers her childhood bathtimes, if a person feels a special connection in particular to the Sesame Street character of Ernie, if a person still sings all the time the entirety of the song, “Rubber Ducky, You’re the One,” including all verses, bridge and chorus, and a person goes looking for a Rubber Ducky at a reputable online drugstore, and a person is met with this kind of depraved filth, then it is high time we took the moral temperature of our society. Preferably rectally.

Really, I swear, I just wanted a new Rubber Ducky! A regular Rubber Ducky!

Oh, it just sounds dirtier the more I type it.