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Archives for July, 2004

Question #4

Let me get this straight: The Rosenbergs were traitors, becuase they sold secrets to the Russians, America’s then-enemy. But Halliburton is doing business with Iran, America’s current enemy, and they are “[compliant] with applicable laws and regulations” because they’re doing it from the legal loophole of a tax shelter? Someone please explain this [...]

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Work Is Over

A little over a year ago, my employers at my nearly-full time incredibly cushy freelance job informed me that they had no more money with which to pay me for my services. I panicked, and then decided to see if I could be my own boss while exploiting the fact that I was incredibly [...]

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"A Matter of Measurements"

I was re-reading A Moveable Feast, wondering why I don’t live in Paris, and why I have to use so many words in all my sentences, when I came to my favorite part, the part where Hemingway recounts how F. Scott Fitzgerald had some issues about his…size. In the male sense of the word. [...]

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Your Enemies’ Enemies

The Siren Fest was an experience. I can only describe it as Friendster Come Alive. Or perhaps: The High Points of Hipsterism: A Fashion Retrospective. Or: An Opportunity To Get A Sunburn and Wait Half an Hour to Go to the Bathroom (but that’s really any music festival, isn’t it?). Or: [...]

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Large, Aged Lady Shoots Down Proselytizing Teens

The Mormons were out in full force the other day, trying to convert my gentrifying Italian neighborhood to their weird Jesus cult. I saw them going to work on this large, aged lady who sits outside her house most nice days with an even more aged lady I assume is her mother. The [...]

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A Trifecta of Trifectas for the Last Quarter-Year of My First Quarter-Century

On the Autumnal Equinox (which falls this year on September 22) there are exactly twelve hours of daylight and twelve hours of darkness everywhere on Earth. It is in this perfect balance of daylight and darkness that I except to experience a full-on existential crisis, otherwise known as my 25th birthday.
On June [...]

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